garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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