new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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