Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
