he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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