i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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