i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
