Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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