when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
