WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you win again, gameday.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
