i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
