If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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