Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Terrible idea I love it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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