dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
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