I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
