never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
