I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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