tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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