i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
