We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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