my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
