do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
