So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this will be a night to untag.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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