Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
