The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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