anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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