You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
