Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
