he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
