Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
