Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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