when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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