My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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