If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Welp...herpes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
