Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
