I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
