Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
