if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
40s are totally the cure
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
