I like to think it a success when the cops are called
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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