New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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