Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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