i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
