i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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