Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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