Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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