I'm so fucking centered right now
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
