need another drink. this is the easiest way
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
