Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
