The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize