so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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