what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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