Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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