I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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