My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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