so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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