i just google imaged poop.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
