bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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